my elf shoes

Okay, so I'm kind of proud of myself. I've actually started a little bit of a fashion trend. And for the girl who used to wear hot pink stirrup pants with yellow wool socks and Payless's cheap knock-off Converse, this is a big deal.

So, a couple years ago my mother-in-law when to London and came home raving about the shoes that all the fashionable girls were wearing. She described them as black flats with a pointed toe. We went shopping and tried to find her a pair, but to no avail. Which was weird because everyone seems to have those shoes.

Well, for her birthday this past October, I was determined to find them. It took about five minutes of google searching to discover that Target carried black flats with a pointed toe. Not sure why we didn't just look online in the first place. Anyway, I buckled little Marty into his carseat and set out for our local Target to pick up a pair. Save on shipping costs, right? When I got there I discovered that they carried a bronze version as well. And my mother-in-law wears a lot of bronze, so I surprised her with some fun, pointy shoes. Happy Birthday, Mimi. Nevermind that she had to trade them for the silver ones since I bought the wrong size.

So my birthday rolled around in December, and my sister called to find out what I'd like. I directed her to the Target website and hinted that there were some pretty cute bronze pointy shoes for a reasonable price. Sure enough, she bought them for me and I started wearing them almost every day.

Then for Christmas, my younger sisters bought each other the same shoes in black. So I found myself trying to be careful that we all didn't wear our shoes at the same time. It would be pretty lame.

At a baby shower in January, a friend of mine (okay, Kathy) was admiring my bronze pointedness and asked where I got my adorable shoes. A couple months later I noticed her wearing a pair of her own at church one Sunday.

And now, my sister-in-law has the exact same ones. My mother-in-law went to lunch with her yesterday and came home to tell me that Anna had on the same shoes I wore yesterday, too. I can only imagine that she got the tip from Kathy, who's a good friend of hers.

So I guess I kind of started a fashion trend. I mean, people have been wearing elf shoes for a while now, so it wasn't really my idea, but I'm responsible for six gorgeous pairs finding their way to some happy owners, including myself. They really are comfortable despite looking like they would bend your toes in several weird directions.

The next time you see someone wearing them, think of me. Plain old Becky, whose version of high fashion is splurging on a thirty-dollar faux leather purse on sale at Macy's, discovered something cool and passed it on. Like I said, I'm pretty proud of myself.

first date jitters

So, my son went on his first date the other night. At ten months old.

I have to say that Marty is already quite the romantic fellow. Little Alyssum was just hanging out in her rocker when Marty crawled over and started escorting her all around the Brams' living room. He pushed her from one side of the room to the other, and back again, all the while gazing lovingly into her eyes.

But don't worry--I was there to chaperone along with his date's mother, so we made sure nothing fishy was going on. Though this picture seems to find them looking awfully suspicious:

But whether he behaved himself or not, I'd say my son is pretty much in love. And he picked the right girl--we've been talking about setting him up with Alyssum since the day they first met, even calling her parents, Matt and Sarah, his future in-laws. Arranged marriages are still legal in the US, right?

Now we just have to work on teaching him how to hold her little hand.

some verbal tears...

I can't stop crying.

God is certainly testing my faith right now.

I feel so helpless, so depressed, so needy--but also feel like I don't have anywhere to turn. Marty's busting his butt working his two jobs so I don't want to just unload on him during the little time we have together. We talked a little bit this afternoon on his break between shifts and I think it just made matters worse.

As he drove away, I was crying and he was equally upset. His last words to me were, "Are we ever going to be able to genuinely smile?" It broke my heart.

And yeah, it's a little extreme to be thinking that way. But sometimes it feels like we've been forgotten. Like we're meant to spend our lives feeling lonely and desperate. Seems as though right when we begin to feel content, God rips something out of our hands and we're left figuring out how to start over. It makes me want to harden my heart and no longer put myself out there at the risk of being hurt.

Guess I just have to remind myself that the Lord gives and the Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord.

"Red nines, accordians, and Satan--oh my!"

I love my family. We are all super weird and nerdy and loud, but I just love my family.

I'm here in San Jose, staying at my parents' house as we enjoy a long weekend of time together, with my aunt and two cousins visiting from Michigan. And so far it's been a blast. We've played cards and screamed over who put the red nine on the yellow eight, we've given each other crazy gifts that evoked laughter and accordian-playing, we've had a birthday party complete with hot pink cheetah-print goodie bags, and we've all piled in the van to go check out the Satan puppet at the local Christian book store. And tonight my in-laws are coming over for tacos.

Now for those that weren't born into this madness, our quirks certainly raise eyebrows. My husband has had a few freak-out moments of his own, as I know we can all be overwhelming at times.

But to me, this is normal. I just shrug and say, "That's so us!"

Hooray for the Palms.

seeing double

I just had to share this precious moment between father and son.

Aren't my Martys adorable?

15% off...

You know what I love?

Going to the mailbox and getting a coupon for 15% off of something that I've been meaning to buy anyway. It's like a little extra goodie in my goodie bag.

I wish every day was a 15% off coupon.

Barnes and Noble, here I come.

my miniature knight

Sometimes life comes at you like a ton of bricks.

Last night, I had some verbal diarrhea barfed in my direction. And it came from a really unlikely source. A girlfriend that I've known for years. Kind of turned my world upside-down. I found myself feeling like a certain level of trust that had been built up came crashing down, and I began to close off a little part of me. Retreat back into my shell a bit.

But in the midst of some pretty salty tears and those gut-wrenching sobs that make you wish you cried as nicely as all those Hollywood stars do, I couldn't help but smile--my son gave me a hug.

Somehow he knew that what I needed most at that moment was to feel valuable to someone. Worth something to someone. And as his little fat arms wrapped around me, I knew in that moment that no matter where life takes me, and no matter how many hills and valleys my relationships go through, I'll always have a certain little man on my side.

Gosh, I love being a mom. That tiny ray of sunshine is enough to push away even the darkest rain cloud.

What's that smell?

You know those moments when you're trying really hard to say something and it just isn't coming out right?

I had an issue with that tonight as we were watching a funny show with some friends. But instead of saying I had a brain fart, I said that my brain was farting. Like currently.

I don't know why, but it was really funny.

minesweeper blues

Today was not a great day.

I woke up feeling sick--sore throat, runny nose. And my cute little bundle of joy was having problems today too. Let's just say I'm pretty sure there's snot covering about 90% of my home.

But when I had the chance to lay down and take a nap, I ended up playing minesweeper on our new computer instead. I can't believe it! I mean, it's a fun game, and I'm stinkin' good at it, but come on. Minesweeper?! I'm an idiot.

So when Marty came home from his long day at work, he was sweet enough to take the baby and give me a little break from everything. I enjoyed the chance to lay down and just relax without any responsibilities, and no computer games to distract me.

I feel loads better already, and am so thankful for a husband who is sensitive to my needs and quirks. And I do mean quirks.

the big three-oh in Cab-oh

So we're going on a freakin' cruise.

For those of you who know our history with cruises, you'll understand why this is such a big deal to us. See, we were supposed to go on a cruise of the western Carribean for our honeymoon. Marty had planned it all out for us, and was so thrilled to be able to take his new wife on such a tropical, romantic getaway. Well, Hurricane Katrina hit a couple days before our wedding. And our cruise ship was supposed to dock in and out of New Orleans. Oops. So they re-routed us a bit and told us our new port would be in beautiful Galveston, Texas. We rearranged our flights and hotels and all that. No harm done, right? So the morning of our wedding Marty got a call from the cruise line saying that FEMA was confiscating our ship to use as housing for the Katrina refugees. Our cruise was cancelled and we honeymooned in "beautiful" Galveston, Texas.

Needless to say, we were a little bitter when we saw our cruise ship docked there with no refugees in sight. Just an empty boat representing our empty honeymoon dreams. Although honeymoons are all about having crazy monkey sex anyway, so I guess in the long run it doesn't really matter where you do it. Ha ha.

Anyway, we're finally going on a freakin' cruise. Marty turns thirty this year (gasp), so in thinking about how to celebrate his milestone birthday, I decided it had to be something big. How about a five-night cruise down to Cabo? We leave Monday, September 15th, and will be baby-less for a whole week as we hang out and enjoy some time to ourselves. So so fun. I can hardly wait.

I was going to keep it a surprise, but really could hardly wait to tell Marty about the pending va-cay. And with the tough time he's been having at work, I knew it would do him some good to have something fun to look forward to. So two weeks ago, I set up a little scavenger hunt for him that led him through our house as he found clues that hinted towards the big gift--the cruise.


It started with a little note on the door explaining that his August birthday would be celebrated earlier than usual this year...

And ended with a very happy husband and proud wife for being able to pull off such a fun surprise!

So if you see us in late August and we look more tan than usual, and our smiles are a bit bigger than usual, you'll know why.