Blogging silence noted.
It's not that I haven't thought of a zillion things to blog about between October 3rd and now. It's not that I haven't had the time to sit down and post a little somethin'-somethin' for you bloggy-hungry fans. It's not that I haven't taken enough pictures of our last month of Moseley life. I swear, I have plenty of digital-camera-ish proof that we do still exist.
My excuse? Not really sure. And not really sure an excuse is important anyway.
Let's just say that I haven't been myself lately. And when you're not yourself, it's hard to try to pretend to be yourself so that no one will notice that you're not really yourself. Follow me?
My little funk this past month is hard to describe, so I won't bother going there. I'll just say that my life has changed in a thousand little ways over the last couple weeks, and I'm working on figuring out how to live with these adjustments. And I'm not quite back to myself yet, so it may take a while for me to start blogging again with as much regularity and hilarity as I have in the past.
I reached my breaking point this past Tuesday and it kind of woke me up to what's been going on. It scared me to realize that I didn't recognize even a small part of the girl I was that morning. She was a stranger to me, and I started to actually miss myself.
To be honest though, now that I've hit my lowest low, I feel comforted knowing I can only go up from here. I'm working through it all and trying really hard to rediscover the Becky in me that thinks burping is something to be proud of and that any white girl can dance like Beyonce if she tries hard enough. The Becky that doesn't have to be perfect, or have everything figured out.
So though this process may take a while, know that in the meantime, I'm probably in my living room shaking my little boo-tay and thinking I can at least be a pop star in my own head.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Friday, October 3, 2008
we have the worst luck...
So I got rear-ended on Tuesday.
I was on my way home from Moms Group, waiting for traffic to clear so I could merge onto one of the busy streets in town (yes, traffic DOES exist in our little po-dunk town). Out of nowhere, my truck lurched forward, and I realized I'd been hit.
Right away I felt sick to my stomach, and couldn't help but let the tears flow. I tried to keep my anger and raw emotion quiet, though, so I wouldn't upset the two babies in my back seat. I was sobbing but saying "it's okay, we're okay" over and over for the sake of keeping the kids as calm as possible.
The girl who hit me looked like she was starting to just drive off, but was actually pulling into a parking lot so we could chat and exchange information. I had to pray through what I was going to say to her, even though my blubbering still came out pretty harsh. I was reprimanding her and asking what happened and letting her know that I had kids in the car--it all came out so fast. But I guess she had thought that traffic was clear and assumed I had already merged, while looking over her shoulder and pressing on the gas pedal.
I was at a dead stop. And she came at me pretty fast. I mean, there's significant damage to my truck. My beast of a car--I swear that thing is a monster. So for her to cause the huge gash that she did means she hit me hard.
Four days later I'm still dealing with severe whiplash. My neck and upper back hurt no matter what way I try to move them, so going about my usual mom business has been more than difficult. Thanks to Miss Bram, I met with a chiropractor today who is going to adjust all three of my misaligned vertebrae tomorrow afternoon. Even my little Goob got a little adjustment this morning, since his neck was slightly off as well.
So I'm in the midst of insurance policy allowances and claims representatives and personal injury settlements and auto body shops and even new carseats. As if we needed one more thing on our already heaping plate.
But here's where we shake our heads and wonder why, oh why, we're being put through the ringer right now...
Marty was driving home tonight from seeing a movie with some buddies when the truck's back tire blew out. In the pouring rain. Without a spare, since we'd already used it last year. Mind you, the truck is our only method of transportation right now. Marty's bike is out of commission and we just sold our Durango to my dad.
So we're car-less and broke. No money to pay for a replacement tire, no money to rent a car to get Marty to and from work for the next couple days while they replace the tire, fix any damage to the rim, and do all the body work needed to patch up the area where I got rear-ended. So THIS is why people have savings to dip into. And THIS is why I'm hating that we have no savings to dip into because we're living paycheck to paycheck as it is.
The funny thing is, even though I should be stressed beyond belief, all I can do is just shake my head and wonder how on earth God is going to get us through this one. Our entire marriage has been one crazy adventure after another, and we've seen God step in on our behalf time and again, so we know we'll be okay. We just don't know what that's going to look like at this point.
Maybe we should just be thankful that our precious son is too young to understand all of this. He wasn't phased by the car accident at all, and doesn't know how tight things are for Mommy and Daddy right now.
He might miss the truck, though, while it's being worked on, since every morning he walks up to our front door, points outside, and says "GUCK!" It means he wants to take a ride in the car and go somewhere fun.
So, Baby, until our "guck" comes home, you and I will have to make our living room as fun as possible. Legos and squeaky books and pillow forts, oh my!
I was on my way home from Moms Group, waiting for traffic to clear so I could merge onto one of the busy streets in town (yes, traffic DOES exist in our little po-dunk town). Out of nowhere, my truck lurched forward, and I realized I'd been hit.
Right away I felt sick to my stomach, and couldn't help but let the tears flow. I tried to keep my anger and raw emotion quiet, though, so I wouldn't upset the two babies in my back seat. I was sobbing but saying "it's okay, we're okay" over and over for the sake of keeping the kids as calm as possible.
The girl who hit me looked like she was starting to just drive off, but was actually pulling into a parking lot so we could chat and exchange information. I had to pray through what I was going to say to her, even though my blubbering still came out pretty harsh. I was reprimanding her and asking what happened and letting her know that I had kids in the car--it all came out so fast. But I guess she had thought that traffic was clear and assumed I had already merged, while looking over her shoulder and pressing on the gas pedal.
I was at a dead stop. And she came at me pretty fast. I mean, there's significant damage to my truck. My beast of a car--I swear that thing is a monster. So for her to cause the huge gash that she did means she hit me hard.
Four days later I'm still dealing with severe whiplash. My neck and upper back hurt no matter what way I try to move them, so going about my usual mom business has been more than difficult. Thanks to Miss Bram, I met with a chiropractor today who is going to adjust all three of my misaligned vertebrae tomorrow afternoon. Even my little Goob got a little adjustment this morning, since his neck was slightly off as well.
So I'm in the midst of insurance policy allowances and claims representatives and personal injury settlements and auto body shops and even new carseats. As if we needed one more thing on our already heaping plate.
But here's where we shake our heads and wonder why, oh why, we're being put through the ringer right now...
Marty was driving home tonight from seeing a movie with some buddies when the truck's back tire blew out. In the pouring rain. Without a spare, since we'd already used it last year. Mind you, the truck is our only method of transportation right now. Marty's bike is out of commission and we just sold our Durango to my dad.
So we're car-less and broke. No money to pay for a replacement tire, no money to rent a car to get Marty to and from work for the next couple days while they replace the tire, fix any damage to the rim, and do all the body work needed to patch up the area where I got rear-ended. So THIS is why people have savings to dip into. And THIS is why I'm hating that we have no savings to dip into because we're living paycheck to paycheck as it is.
The funny thing is, even though I should be stressed beyond belief, all I can do is just shake my head and wonder how on earth God is going to get us through this one. Our entire marriage has been one crazy adventure after another, and we've seen God step in on our behalf time and again, so we know we'll be okay. We just don't know what that's going to look like at this point.
Maybe we should just be thankful that our precious son is too young to understand all of this. He wasn't phased by the car accident at all, and doesn't know how tight things are for Mommy and Daddy right now.
He might miss the truck, though, while it's being worked on, since every morning he walks up to our front door, points outside, and says "GUCK!" It means he wants to take a ride in the car and go somewhere fun.
So, Baby, until our "guck" comes home, you and I will have to make our living room as fun as possible. Legos and squeaky books and pillow forts, oh my!
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