Blogging silence noted.
It's not that I haven't thought of a zillion things to blog about between October 3rd and now. It's not that I haven't had the time to sit down and post a little somethin'-somethin' for you bloggy-hungry fans. It's not that I haven't taken enough pictures of our last month of Moseley life. I swear, I have plenty of digital-camera-ish proof that we do still exist.
My excuse? Not really sure. And not really sure an excuse is important anyway.
Let's just say that I haven't been myself lately. And when you're not yourself, it's hard to try to pretend to be yourself so that no one will notice that you're not really yourself. Follow me?
My little funk this past month is hard to describe, so I won't bother going there. I'll just say that my life has changed in a thousand little ways over the last couple weeks, and I'm working on figuring out how to live with these adjustments. And I'm not quite back to myself yet, so it may take a while for me to start blogging again with as much regularity and hilarity as I have in the past.
I reached my breaking point this past Tuesday and it kind of woke me up to what's been going on. It scared me to realize that I didn't recognize even a small part of the girl I was that morning. She was a stranger to me, and I started to actually miss myself.
To be honest though, now that I've hit my lowest low, I feel comforted knowing I can only go up from here. I'm working through it all and trying really hard to rediscover the Becky in me that thinks burping is something to be proud of and that any white girl can dance like Beyonce if she tries hard enough. The Becky that doesn't have to be perfect, or have everything figured out.
So though this process may take a while, know that in the meantime, I'm probably in my living room shaking my little boo-tay and thinking I can at least be a pop star in my own head.
15 comments:
crazy. YOu hide yourself so well.... I am so sorry. If you need anything know I am here as a listening ear, or whatever.
You are so wonderful. I love having you in my life :) Spending Sunday mornings with you is such a blessing. Seriously, I look forward to seeing you. You always make me smile, and are just so darn thoughtful! If there is every anything I can do, please do NOT hesitate to ask. That's what twinsies do!!! And I think we need to have a little b-day bash to celebrate the big 24 this year... it will be AMAZING! Love you Becky.
Whatever you're going through, I hope it's nothing too serious. I'll be thinking good thoughts for you :)
Oh, Bek! You are in a funk & in the words of the great Jean Moseley, "This too shall pass." When I get down I turn on nothing but Christian music. It's funny how the songs touch me just where I have been empty. You are a great wife, mom, DIL & servant of the Lord. Be careful not to dwell on or believe the lies of the enemy.
Love,
Mimi
You are a rock star! I think you should be singing worship and showing everybody your talent. You are an awesome person and a great friend. Thanks for all your support. I am here if you need me, anytime!
sweet, beck. i don't know what's been going on, but know that you are always close to my heart. forgive me if i've also been distant, dealing with my own things, and not available to you. please know that you are blessed and i am blessed to have you in my life!
Hey babe. I am so encouraged by these people who have written you. It's good to know that this is where God has led us. Fresno would never have felt like this. I know that this is something God has to fix, and I am always on your side. I'll do whatever you need, and be here whenever you need. You are supported and valuable and totally valid in feeling overwhelmed and lost. Jesus is crying out to sing over you with joy, he screams His love to you "I can't hold my love back from you, I can't hold my love back from you. I will sing, sing my love"-Jesus. Take as long as you need to re find yourself. I will be here every step of the way. I love every part of you.
Becky, I hope you are having a relaxing week away. I pray the stress and funk that you are in just rolls off your back, returning you to be the cute, quirky Becky that the Lord means you to be. You are loved, you are needed - just the way you are!
Oh and I love the new background by the way.
maybe we can blame it on the weather or something. i hadn't blogged throughout october either. i did make an excuse and blamed it on all the chaos going on around me - but i've definitely had the same indescribable thousands of changes going on in me too. so if i was standing next to you - know that i'd be doing that signal (two fingers in front of my eyes, then they point to yours) like, "I getchya girl." *wink*
LOVE!
--Clartzy
I have been there before. If people are honest then we would find that most people have been there. I hope you are alright and know that you are not alone, even though that statement rarely helps, LOL.
Hey beautiful. We can talk about this when you get home if you want. I would sure love to hear your heart.
I'm praying for you. I hate that we haven't gotten together yet so I could have been praying for you this whole time.
God is good, move with Him. Satan sucks, knock him out if there are any changes he is trying to make in your life. Women rock, invite us over and we will talk, pray, and make rice crispy treats!
I love you!
Hi Sweet Bec. Your fam loves you so much! If we can do anything for you please let us know. Been there, babe and go there again from time to time. And when your in that funk it really stinks. Pray it out, cry it out....The most important relationship is with Jesus. He can take whatever you want to throw at him.
You've been in my thoughts a lot lately. I hope you are finding your way on the road to recovery. Although it was vague and brief and I may be off point, I wanted send you a note on thoughts that have been swirling around in my head and you can take what you will from it: From what little life experience I have, I have noticed that as we go through our peaks and troughs and all the many and various phases of our life and because the change is so gradual we don't realize how we've changed until we don't recognize the person looking back at us and we wonder how we got here, not recognizing the person staring back at us isn't always a bad thing and the person we once were isn't always someone to be missed. Sometimes God calls us to move on from the identity we once found comfort in and into a new, unknown idenity we are not comfortable calling "our own skin." We grow, we mature, life experinces give us new facets, life experiences chip away at us. Because that is the nature of living in this world, that just makes us realize how vital it is to lean on God's grace and strength. Forget diamonds in the rough...we are all natural wonders of the world - made by God, shaped by nature, unique, and beautiful.
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