mission to Marty--weeks three and four

Sigh. I'm just so behind on my Marty updates. Dang it.
But I consider it a good thing that I've been too busy playing with my son to write about playing with my son. So during his daily "quiet time" in his room (since that stinker won't take his afternoon naps as regularly as he used to), I thought I'd have some "quiet time" of my own and reflect on the past few weeks.

The week of Valentine's Day, I decided to work on some pretty basic concepts, instead of always shooting for the stars with Marty's therapy. So while I usually focus on behavioral things, that week I focused more on concrete concepts. You'll get the idea:

Monday, February 14th--Today was our "counting" day. We talked a lot about numbers, from playing with the number magnets on the fridge to counting our fingers to see how many we each have. I can hereby report that Mom, Marty, and Lucas all have ten, though a couple times Marty had eleven. Hmmm. The highlight of the day was laying in bed with Marty during his "quiet time" and just counting together. Counting forwards, counting backwards. He loved it, and Mama loved the cuddles that went along with it.

Tuesday, February 15th--Today I had a friend over to help with the kids while I tackled a huge clothing-related project. Our boys grow out of their clothes so fast it's hard to keep on top of all the too-small cast-offs. So I spent most of the day sorting by size and type of clothing and blah blah blah. Shannon played with Marty most of the day, but once she left, I had Marty help me with the sorting process. We talked about shirts and pants and what we put our socks on. And he could identify which clothes were his and which were Lukey's based on the sizes and the big versus small concept. Awesome.

Wednesday, February 16th--Today we talked about mail. And what mail is--"mail is when we get letters from our friends". I hadn't gone through all of Marty's valentines from his classmates yet, so we busted those out and talked about the "mail" Marty got and who it was from. I held up each valentine and said, "Marty, is this mail?" Until he started to recognize what is and what isn't. We walked out to the mailbox and I showed him where the mailman puts our mail. Marty even got a letter or two! Little did I know that junk mail would start being so precious in out house--one of the things we got was an ad for different check designs, and Marty loved pointing out the different animals and Disney characters he saw. I think he really thought someone sent that just for him.

Thursday, February 17th--Today it snowed in Redding, so I ran with the theme and talked about snow all day. We played outside in it for hours and talked about how it's c-c-c-c-old in the snow (and that "cold" starts with "c"), talked about how it falls from the sky, etc. We threw snowballs at the fence and talked about what gloves are, as Marty wore them for the first time and responded, "That feels good. Is everybody okay in there? (looking at his fingers)". We built a snowman and had to discuss why he couldn't come back in the house with us. So fun. I wish it snowed more often.

Friday, February 18th--My parents came today to visit for the weekend, so today's discussions revolved around Oma and Opa. We talked about relationships and the concept of grandparents. A couple times my mom and I took Marty out to run an errand, and we talked about the fact that Opa (my dad) was at our house with Lucas and Oma was with us in the car. He's been loving tickling all of us lately, and was wanting us to tickle each other, saying, "Oma, tickle Mommy. Mommy tickle Opa." What a goofy kid.

This week I'd been feeling pretty sick, so I hadn't had much energy to plan something for each day. But I didn't want to give up on my little "mission", so we've been working on a couple key areas. Our main theme was what's called "joint attention". For kids on the autism spectrum, it can be difficult to consider other people's perceptions and viewpoints and even feelings. It's hard for them to step outside of themselves and try to understand a different take on the situation. Joint attention is merely the ability to consider more than just your own point of view. We've practiced having Marty read us books and have to show us each page, so that he understands that we can't see the pictures in his book if he has it turned toward himself.

Since my Crohn's disease has been acting up this week, we've talked a lot about how to act when other people don't feel good--that we need to be quiet and gentle even if we want to play rough. Marty caught on quickly. Monday afternoon I was doubled over in pain, and just laying on the living room floor while the kids played around me. Marty decided we were going to play "night night", and went upstairs to get me a pillow and his blankets from his bed so I'd be more comfortable. He even turned out the lights and told Lucas, "Shhh. Mama's sleeping." Awesome.

Another example of joint attention that we've worked on this past week is having Marty wait to talk to us until it's his turn to talk. Usually he'll just interject whenever he has something to say, and yes, we've let him because we've been so thrilled that he's actually talking. But this week we've been quick to say, "Marty, Mommy's talking to Dad. Please wait until it's Marty's turn to talk to Dad. First Mommy talk, then Marty." It's still a work in progress. That one's harder for him. But it's teaching him that other people are affected by his actions, and that he needs to be considerate of those around him.

So that's all for now, folks. I hope these updates have been encouraging you to pour into your kids more often. I know it's been a fun journey for us as a family to be more intentional about the time we spend together.

Happy playing! Here's to enough energy and new ideas to get us through next week!