getting Marty back

I posted a facebook status a couple days ago saying that I was a mommy on a mission. That I can see my little Marty retreating further and further into his world of autism, and that I'm not going to let ourselves lose him.

So how am I supposed to do that? By engaging his attention at every moment. Keeping him interested in the outside world. I can't let him "stim" for too long--a stim is a self-stimulatory behavior that many autistic children do in order to center themselves in a confusing and overwhelming environment. For Marty, it's running his trains back and forth on his train track. And though it looks cute, and he talks the whole time about which train is doing what, it's just not a great idea to let him fall into that too often. Which means keeping him busy. Which means Mama being busy trying to occupy every moment of the day with an activity that'll help Marty grow and learn.

Mind you, I've been working with him in little ways here and there since his autism diagnosis almost a year ago, but I'm on a mission to be more purposeful. To think through what he needs to work on, and what areas he's been struggling with, and try to come up with a teaching tool that addresses those deficits. It's kind of a full-time job. But one that will be SO rewarding in the years to come. A child's brain is most flexible and pliable before the age of five, so we're trying to cram in as much as we can in the next year and a half.

Will you join me in that journey? I thought that by documenting our activities, and sharing them with our friends and family, I'd be held accountable in a way. And be able to look back on Marty's progress and rejoice in how far he's come.

So here goes... Our first couple days of Mission to Marty:

Wednesday, February 2nd--I'm trying to work through balancing Marty's needs with the needs of our household, so today's activity was a game I like to call "laundry". Marty has a hard time adhering to other people's agendas, so I wanted him to practice participating in a non-preferred activity and understand that he couldn't bow out until I said he was done. That is HARD to do--he is a three-year-old after all, with the attention span of a small insect. I told him we were going to play a new game in the garage. He freaked out--he wanted to play with his trains instead. So I said he could bring ONE train to play the game with us. He chose four trains. I walked him back over to where his track was, and talked him through choosing only one. He had a meltdown, but I stuck to my guns, and we ended up bring Henry into the garage to help with the laundry. I stood behind Marty so that he couldn't run away, and asked him to put the wet clothes from the washer into the dryer. He freaked out. I had Henry help Mommy, and Marty didn't like that I was using his toy, so I said, "Well, then why don't YOU help Mom?" Again, meltdown. So, despite his crying and screaming (our neighbors must think horribly of me), we shook out each piece of wet laundry and threw it into the dryer, saying, "Go in, red shirt! Your turn, blue socks! Bye bye, jeans!" Finally, once Marty began to realize that I meant business, he calmed down. I told him there were only five clothes left, giving him an end to look forward to. And sure enough, he started participating! He loved it! Success.

Thursday, February 3rd--Today we pretended to be animals everywhere we went, to work on Marty's ability to think outside of what's concrete and tangible. So when I took Marty to the big-boy potty, we were kangaroos hopping to the bathroom. I'd say things like, "Okay, baby kangaroo! Let's wash our kangaroo hands!" When we went up to bed, we climbed the stairs like lions, roaring all the way. Daddy even participated--we were a little family of monkeys as we prepared and ate dinner. It was SO FUN! Marty did a good job coming up with different animals for us to be, though I had a hard time figuring out how to be an elephant with four legs AND a trunk...

Friday, February 4th--We worked on sequencing today. "First, second, etc." One tool that helps Marty with his difficulty transitioning into new activities is to outline what we'll be doing. I say things like, "First, clean up, then have a snack." It gives him structure, and that structure is really comforting to him. But today I wanted to help him truly understand that concept, so I busted out some flashcards that his speech therapist gave us, that have pictures on them of kids doing different activities in sequence. So Marty has to figure out which comes first--the shoes that are untied or the picture of the girl tying the shoes. It was hard work, but he got most of them, and thought the word "second" was really funny. We'll work up to adding a third component to each sequence as he really starts to nail down the concept.

So that's it for now. I know, I know, it's a lot. And I know there are few people that will care to read through all the nitty-gritty details of our life with autism. But if I don't share my testimony in all this, and show the world that you really can rise above your circumstances and mold them into what you want them to look like, then Marty's autism will have no purpose.

I want to give my son a voice in this crazy chaotic world. And help him speak in the moments that he can't speak up for himself.