a debtor's thankful heart

$21,105.06.

That's a lot of money. I could do so much with twenty-thousand dollars. Pay off a car loan or two. Put a down payment on a house. Just think of how many shopping carts I would need to haul twenty-thousand dollars-worth of Huggies size four diapers. Shocking, really.

The big reveal? That's how much just three Remicade infusion treatments cost. Maybe that's why the nurses feel so obliged to bring you all the free cranberry grape juice your little heart desires.

See, earlier this year, I suffered the most severe Crohns disease flare-up I've had in the eleven years I've lived with my chronic illness. Worse than the time my mouth was covered with cold-sores and I lost so much weight that I cried in the shower when I noticed how severely my hip bones jutted out. Worse than the time I passed out in my mom's arms and had to call an ambulance, though all I could think about once I came to was how embarrassed I was that those good-looking EMTs saw my room at one of its messiest moments.

Anyway, I digress. Back to the present. Or at least to a couple months ago. My gastroenterologist (or tummy doctor) had me undergo several Remicade infusions. Basically it's a drug that gets pumped right into your bloodstream, since Crohns patients like myself can have a hard time absorbing oral medications. I got hooked up to an IV each time I went in, and got to sit still for three glorious hours without a single responsibility to keep me busy. I could read, nap, watch "The Office" on Marty's video iPod, or snack on Cheezits to my heart's content. Oh. And enjoy a nice cold plastic cup of cranberry grape juice. Heaven, I tell you.

But not for $21,105.06. For that much I could just pay someone to be sick for me.

The good news is that my insurance company covered the entire cost. Not a cent comes out of my pocket, other than whatever I may have paid buying McDonalds to sneak into Mercy's outpatient chemo room. I actually had a gentleman in the next chair over ask when the hospital started serving fast food, and comment that it was a step up from the usual cafeteria munchies.

Really, though, that bill is one I'll never pay.

And even though biblical analogies can be rather cheesey at times, this one really sunk in for me. I had a debt I could never even fathom repaying. A debt so huge, it would cost a lifetime of hardship (in this case, financial). But someone came in and covered it all. Took that debt upon themselves and gave me freedom from it in return. My body is cleansed and healed as a result.

Thank you, Lord, for covering my spiritual debt. For taking my burden upon yourself so that I could be free. Free to bask in Your grace and mercy. Free to revel in a God who loves me just that much. Free to enjoy all the cranberry grape juice I could ever want.

P.S. Because the best blogs have pictures in them, and are more likely to be read, I'll include a snapshot of my favorite visitor while I was in for one of my treatments: