"I am Woman. Hear me roar!"

Just call me Becky, Warrior Princess.

A couple girlfriends and I are reading through the book "Captivating", and seeking to unveil the mystery that is a woman's soul. Can you believe that as big a phenomenon "Captivating" is, I've never actually read it? Maybe I thought I understood myself just fine, thank you. Maybe I was too stubborn to admit that I had things to learn. Maybe I just didn't want to fork over the $22.99 needed to get myself a copy.

But here I am, a wife of almost three years and a mother of over one, and I'm discovering so much about myself that I had no clue was buried deep inside.

Chapter one talks about the basic desires of every woman's heart. One of those things is to play an "irreplaceable role in a great adventure". Now, I'm not a huge adventure junkie. I'd just as soon stay inside and mend my husband's favorite brown courderoy shorts. But a certain line in this section of the book hit me. It says, "There is something fierce in the heart of a woman. [...] A woman is a warrior too."

Now, I've always been fierce. Tyra Banks and Christian Siriano "fee-yees". But I don't think the book is talking about your ability to walk a runway or rock that funky pair of shoes that you bought at Rite Aid and swear are the next big thing.

No, I'm a warrior. But all this time I haven't been able to see my own armor. I guess growing up I always dreamed of being the damsel in distress. I dreamed of the day my knight in shining armor would sweep my off my feet and be my protector. My defender. I thought my role was to be vulnerable and helpless so that I'm in constant need of rescuing. Isn't that what guys need? To be the rescuer? And doesn't it follow that they need someone to rescue?

My eyes were opened by this simple concept that we, as woman, feel the need to be warriors at times, too. To be irreplaceable ("To the left, to the left"--I love me some Beyonce). To be so important, that a certain task could not be completed without your specific input. I kind of like that idea. I may not be the woman that's out there living in the woods for weeks at a time, brave enough to squat and pee without wondering if any little forest animals are watching. But I can be adventurous in my own way. I can be fierce--a warrior ready to face any battle thrown at me.

With this mindset puffing out my chest and raising my shoulders, I was able to conquer my first tiny battle this past weekend. Instead of catering to what someone else expected of me, I chose to go my own route and make a decision for myself, without apologizing for it. Without trying to back-peddle or make excuses for why I did what I did. It felt kind of good.

But today, when walking in for an eye exam, I heard a nasty customer use some nasty words in front of my precious son. The warrior in me became a coward, and I was too timid to ask that he not talk that way in the presence of my child. Guess this whole Xena mindset takes some getting used to.

You know what though? I'm also learning that sometimes being a warrior means fighting your own emotions and tendency to lash out when injustice is observed. Sometimes being a warrior means standing back and letting things slide in order to protect someone else. Sometimes it means guarding someone else's heart no matter how broken your own is.

I'm in the midst of a serious battle right now that's been going on for several years. I'm not sure how it started, and I certainly don't know how or when it'll end, but it's there. It's a constant issue, constant thought, constant fight. And I'm finding that right now, it's my calling. It's my lesson to learn. And the best thing to do is to keep myself from jumping to the front lines and making that ugly war face you always see in movies. Seriously. I won't be roaring in the midst of this one.

But I know that the fierce warrior inside of me is still fighting. I'm fighting the Enemy's lies. I'm fighting my own tongue. I'm fighting for something that I think is worth fighting for, no matter how hard it gets. Warriors don't give up when they break a nail or smear their mascara. They keep on keeping on, looking only towards the prize at the end. Dang. It better be a good one.

At least when the going gets tough, I'll know that I look fabulous in my warrior princess gear. Who doesn't love some quality leather and a brass shin guard?