I learned something about myself.
I am still super shy, despite feeling as though I've broken out of that shell years ago. But recently, that awkward, timid little girl in me has been rearing her ugliness when I'm in certain social settings. In big groups, it's often hard for me to know what to say. I always feel bad butting into people's conversations, so I end up just sitting there listening.
Which, mind you, can be very entertaining. By being the silent listener, I've learned a lot about people, and can probably surprise you with what I know and remember.
But I'd rather be the one talking if I had my choice. Those of you who know me well know that when I have something to say, I'll usually just come right out and say it, even if it means talking your ear off for twenty minutes. I do great with close friends, or one-on-one with people. And now that I'm getting to know most of the moms in Moms Group, I feel really comfortable there, too.
So why is it that if you're someone I don't know very well, or if I'm part of a larger social gathering, I just stop sharing all of those millions of thoughts running through my head as I look on awkwardly? Why can't I seem to gain the confidence to just speak up and be a part of the group? If I do think of something funny to say, I usually spend so much time gaining the courage to actually say it that by the time I do, that conversation topic is over and done with. So my little quip stays in my head and makes me kick myself for not participating.
I really am a fun person. I really do enjoy getting to know people and making new friends. So if ever there's a crowd of people, and I'm off to the side just sitting and staring, come say hello to me. I promise it'll be worth your effort--I'm freakin' hilarious once you get me going.
4 comments:
Becky you are so funny. I know that when I go out at night I tend to sit back not because I don't know what to say but that after being with the kids all day, I am soooo exhausted that it is almost not worth the effort. I would rather be a wall flower, I don't have the energy. I understand.
becky, you can always butt into my conversations. that is, if i'm having one. i'm with you in the getting quiet if there are more than a couple people in a group. it is pretty interesting listening to other people. you're awesome! are you coming over tonight? promise there won't be many people...haha!
Aw there's NOTHING wrong with that! But of course I'm saying that because I'm that way all the time - not much of a talker that is. There's nothing wrong with playing the part of a listener in some settings and the talker in others....each situation calls for a different side of us. Could you imagine if the world was filled with all talkers all the time!? What a noisy mess we would have! =)
Dude...I'm so with you. People actually used to think I was b---- before they got to know me because I was so quiet! Reflecting back to our conversation tonight about pot...I guess that was another reason it was hard to quit...I didn't know how to relate to people if we weren't stoned...sheesh! I'm glad God taught me!
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